it's my life,
its now or never
cause i aint gonna leave forever
i just wanna leave while im alive
sigh... im asking myself, am i doing something that i like at all? am i forcing myself too much? but why am i doing so? is it just to suit into the crowd?
i dunoe, since young, im always behaving like this. even if people were to laugh at me, disturb me, i dont feel angry, although sometimes i may feel hurt inside. but its still ok.
sometimes i also don't mind doing things for others. why is this so? i hope i don't do this just to fit in into my cliques. i hope im not that hard to interact with.
i have been living for 19 years 6 months and 4 days...
have i been living other people's nose? i hope not... if you even bother to ask me, i think i enjoyed my life till now. no matter how many ups and downs there are, i feel i still can manage it. im satisfied with what i have. but i hope im still a happy girl. i dont wish to be the kind that im laughing and enjoying myself on the outside, but feel totally sad in the inside. then what's the purpose of living right?
but again, i feel that sometimes i really need to show my anger, but i got no courage, and sometimes, i don't feel there's a need to do it. but i hope ppl don't take advantage of me because of this.
feeling rather down today. until i have got no mood to do any design today. 3 simple designs, really simple ones, took me more than 3 hours. i have got no idea what am i doing. i just stared and stared on the screen, nothing comes out...
we celebrated this lucky child's birthday in sch during friday. awesome much, messy much, and noisy much. but anyway, it's nothing unusual.
its kords girlfriend birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :)
i helped kords bake the cookies, anyhow come up with a recipe. luckily it works. ha! and a whole of a messed up kitchen. haiya, tt's being in the kitchen with a guy. -.-
the product. its not very appealing, but quite nice. kords is so sweet, im complaining to him, i have been his sister for the past 19 years, he nvr cooked something for me to eat before. bias. hehe...
that's my brother and i in action. who cares if its blurr. im smiling, at least my brother made me forget my worries for a moment. thanks so much.
its my evaluation later. irritating. i hate it. but whatever... get to go home early. huatts is treating me to sakae. ha! so much of brother loves today. i love you all too! :)
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