sighhh... this weekend, im gg to move away from this miserable place, to yet another miserable place. yes, even before moving back, the kids are suffering so much of unfairness.

i really feel very 委屈 staying here. but there is nowhere i could go. i have no ability to earn money to keep myself living, as well as my poor little Nack.

know what, uncle never allowed us to bring the two dogs over because of very lame reasons like, the furnitures and renovations costs a lot, and the neighbours will complain. then why the hell can he bring the birds over?!

things have not been going very peacefully at home because of this issue. it is really unfair to the dogs and to us. seriously, he did not spent a single cent on my dog, why must he stop me from bringing the dogs over? and the most ridiculous thing is that i mentioned to him that he don't expect me to come home every day just to do housework right, and he replied me, if you nvr bring Nack with you, you will have more time for housework. knn. try separating the both of us, i am really gg to be extremely rebellious to him.

and recently, i have been really mean to my mum bcos of him. all the unfairness and anger created by him, i vent all the anger on my mum. she nvr scolds me, she is accepting the way i am treating her, and i am really feeling very bad. its not mum's fault. she could not do anything also. all of us never had a position to speak up except for him. life sucks, he is not actually that great.

i already debated all i could. i screamed and shouted till the extend i cried and shouted throughout my dinner, i really wish i could just throw that bowl of dinner right into his face. seriously, how selfish can he be? i really hate this controlling of my own personal stuffs. it is really unfair.

i really got no authority to speak up in this family. and i couldn't expect my mum to do it, because they will end up quarreling. why the hell do they even want to register for marriage? i fucking hate him man. its not like as if i don't have the ability to look after my mum when i start to earn money.

now i really don't know what i should do with Nack. we planned to force bring the dogs there, for sure im gg to do it. if not i guess i really have to give nack away, because i wouldn't want to put him in a dog hotel. there are so many other dogs there, no full attention will be given to him. and i have to pay so much. but if i give him away, it means that i can never be able to bring him back. seriously, what should i do?

Nack is not a childhood toy, he is a living thing, i should not deprive him of living and receiving lots of love. and recently, i got no idea why, we really got so closed together, he finally sleep with me on my bed throughout the night, sitting on my lap for a very long time and have awesome play time, and then its time to part.

no way i am gg to let things be like this, but there are really some things that we are not able to control. i don't care, im gg to bring the dogs over. im gg to put nack in the cage and have a muzzle on him, i really hope that he understands why he needs the muzzle...

Hi. wow, how many days have it been since i last updated? it was merry christmas, now it 2011 and CNY is coming. all i can say is that i have been really very busy and i have not been enjoying myself because of assignments, PD submissions, never ending issues at home and sometimes, the inevitable relationship problems.

i guess, sometimes, i have to priorities myself instead of letting myself be an option to myself. because i guess i have always been people's option. i always thought that as long as everybody is happy, i will be happy too. but i guess not, because i have been so tired making everybody happy, i neglected myself. and most ridiculously is that, when something is wrong, they blames me.

so i have decided to be really very strong. in the past few years, i have always been very emotional, and feel for everybody, spared a thought for almost everyone. now, NO. kailing is gg to love only herself more and more. and im gg to work towards my goal. im gg to complete my assignments, meet submission dates and do what i love. :)

i have been struggling to make this decision, but i guess im just still half way through. because i keep thinking of giving those that hurt me anth chance, the one last chance, and that's it.

i have also been looking for a job for my precious jetro. finally i brought up courage to called 2 today. one was nasty, one was nice, of course the nicer one requested jetro to call him tmr. i really hope everything will be smooth sailing. i really want jetro to be with me during CNY.

alright, enough of my personal thoughts. let the pictures do the talking.

2011 countdown. as usual, the DIDM cliques went out tgt. our purpose is to take pictures of the fireworks. and we met really early to go CHOP place. but it rained. damn. and only me, valerie and guowei met early. we went to have bak kut teh behind funan mall and met up with akina. we had no where to go so we went to peninsula plaza to get wired controller for our cameras. and it RAINED. damn. so we went back to funan to walk walk. and den off to suntec to meet elina.

aft tt we did a recee to find a good spot. and we walked like dogs because all the roads are blocked because of the countdown. finally we found, i dunoe where, but we were a lil too late, all the best spots were taken, no choice but to take the better spots and pan our tripods to the right.

before the night falls, we were alrdy very high. we nvr drink. i guess its bcos of the each other's accompany we had. we played and played with the light sticks. and the following pictures are from Elina and Guowei's camera, i KOP from FB. :D

i really like this two pictures i have taken with valerie, recently she has been comforting me alot,and listening to my rantings. as well as the rest in the cliques like elina and alviss. i really love them alot! and they bully me alot too. >| haha, its ok lah. LOL. i should just say, everyone in the clique bully me and erica and alot, especially valerie, guowei and alviss. my mum say its bcos im gong gong. WTH.

and we got so bored, we took out all the light sticks i brought along and connect them tgt. and start to do skipping there. seriously, very ridiculous, but we did not care anymore. many people came to look, bcos we were REALLY NOISY.

the light sticks was our only entertainment, but we really had fun. :)) i love all this people!

now look at the pictures i have taken

this is where i am standing at. tripod and camera really panned to the right. more pictures up on FB!