Kai Ling

sighhh... this weekend, im gg to move away from this miserable place, to yet another miserable place. yes, even before moving back, the kids are suffering so much of unfairness.

i really feel very 委屈 staying here. but there is nowhere i could go. i have no ability to earn money to keep myself living, as well as my poor little Nack.

know what, uncle never allowed us to bring the two dogs over because of very lame reasons like, the furnitures and renovations costs a lot, and the neighbours will complain. then why the hell can he bring the birds over?!

things have not been going very peacefully at home because of this issue. it is really unfair to the dogs and to us. seriously, he did not spent a single cent on my dog, why must he stop me from bringing the dogs over? and the most ridiculous thing is that i mentioned to him that he don't expect me to come home every day just to do housework right, and he replied me, if you nvr bring Nack with you, you will have more time for housework. knn. try separating the both of us, i am really gg to be extremely rebellious to him.

and recently, i have been really mean to my mum bcos of him. all the unfairness and anger created by him, i vent all the anger on my mum. she nvr scolds me, she is accepting the way i am treating her, and i am really feeling very bad. its not mum's fault. she could not do anything also. all of us never had a position to speak up except for him. life sucks, he is not actually that great.

i already debated all i could. i screamed and shouted till the extend i cried and shouted throughout my dinner, i really wish i could just throw that bowl of dinner right into his face. seriously, how selfish can he be? i really hate this controlling of my own personal stuffs. it is really unfair.

i really got no authority to speak up in this family. and i couldn't expect my mum to do it, because they will end up quarreling. why the hell do they even want to register for marriage? i fucking hate him man. its not like as if i don't have the ability to look after my mum when i start to earn money.

now i really don't know what i should do with Nack. we planned to force bring the dogs there, for sure im gg to do it. if not i guess i really have to give nack away, because i wouldn't want to put him in a dog hotel. there are so many other dogs there, no full attention will be given to him. and i have to pay so much. but if i give him away, it means that i can never be able to bring him back. seriously, what should i do?

Nack is not a childhood toy, he is a living thing, i should not deprive him of living and receiving lots of love. and recently, i got no idea why, we really got so closed together, he finally sleep with me on my bed throughout the night, sitting on my lap for a very long time and have awesome play time, and then its time to part.

no way i am gg to let things be like this, but there are really some things that we are not able to control. i don't care, im gg to bring the dogs over. im gg to put nack in the cage and have a muzzle on him, i really hope that he understands why he needs the muzzle...