counting down, 10 more days!! URGH!!!!

10 more days for him to come back from his hometown to JB...

contacting each other now is definitely much more difficult... i have been sending sms to him but i keep having the feeling that it is lagging. it takes quite long for him to reply one msg eh. TSK. hope he is just too busy, and not the server too lag!

what have i been doing? im working like a mad ass everyday, from 3 am to 3pm. bcos the aunty was fired, when holidays started, im working 0.5 times harder. bcos 3 persons work, 2 person share, me and mum. both of us were just awfully tired. OMG. and sunday i went to BiQin's 21st birthday party, enjoyed myself of course, bcos with the 38s mah! and rched home at abt 12.40am, slept at 1 and wake up for wotk at 3. monday was a bad day, super bad mood, not enough sleep. hahaha!

anyway, pictures!! michaela's hat, nice not? hahaha!

*the right side pic very 38 right. i helping to remove the decorations and i get crazy over it! -.-


THE 38s!

ciaoxzxzxzxz~~~ not nap yet, today like not tired, but think im getting tired now. hehehe, and im waiting for jetro's call.. although its short call, at least i noe his fine! ;)

i miss you....!!!! <3<3<3>

missed me much? :)

well, i have been pretty well recently, just that im so lazy to blog, because it will just be the same old rantings again.

and i'hv got some awesome events happening too, but i just cant be bothered to blog, because when i blog, i want to upload my pictures, but the internet speed just CMI.

and i also have got some misery happening too. uhh....................... SAD!!!!!!! :(

anyway, celebrating RongRong's Birthday!

RongRong's Bday, we went out on the actual day itself, to Holland V for the xiaolongbao steamboat buffet, den downstairs for Frolicks and Provence.. yummy much, happy much :)

toilet... and tt's me with my DSLR :)

and we were craving for Frolicks and Provence, so off we went to Holland V again, to eat. hahaa!

and oh, do you miss Nack too?

:)

counting down, 6 more days. jetro is leaving canteen. leaving to find a better job, a better future. what should i do after the 6 days, he will be off, far away, all the way at JB, nbdy to talk to me, nbdy to listen to me, nbdy for me to rely on.

am i getting too worried here, or maybe im thinking too much, but i hope what im thinking of will never happen. tmr will be the last sunday we will be spending tgt. but i still have got so much to say, time is always never enough.

for now, i don't even know what i should do, what i can do. im wide awake here, but my brain is not functioning, how i wish the day never comes.................................

i got so many things im worrying about, but my brain is just not thinking tonight.

goodnight :'(

:(

im getting really troubled and vexed. i cnt stop thinking of the odds that will happen, what does it mean? getting really really pekchek.

i got no mood to do my drawing lor. URGH! does it mean i should not do it? OMG. struggling :(

tmr is programming evaluation. i want to create the tables inside the codes! im gg to try lor, hope i can make it lah.

later gg to Holland V again for frolicks and the bread, dunoe what name. im gg to spend! BUT I NEED THE MONEY HELLO!!!!!! HOLIDAYS FASTER COME, IM GG TO WORK MY ASS OFF!!!

just when i thought that things have changed a little better, everything goes haywire again. seriously, what is it that i have done wrong, i am treated this way?? and if it is me that u are going against, please, do it to my only, don't do it to my boyfriend, he doesn't deserve all these bullshits.

i seriously dunoe what is happening, what is going on, what i should do, and what i can do. my mind is just so blank, so so blank... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

i really hate myself for not knowing how to handle the problem. but things are just difficult to go back and be like the past. maybe for you, you can, but this is definitely not gg to be expected from me, for all the heartbreak you have done to me, it is enough to discriminate me, from a hero to a zero. i dunoe from where i can stand up again, i really don't.

i really hate crying to sleep, and waking up to the same old bullshits again.

sometimes i wish i could just die in my sleep, and never be awake anymore.

my heart sank again tonight. i feel like a useless person that can never handle things well, i wish i am strong enough to hold back my tears, but i am just not strong enough.

what i am going through now just can't be explained in a few words or two. i just hate being me now. everything is no longer the same. i hate my life, i can die.

oh oh oh, i got my D5000 with Jetro ytd at funan... (Y) and we had a good long chat over at esplanade. :)

and some decisions were made. and i freaking cried again. i dunoe what is happening. i seemed to be washing my face with tears so regularly. but spare me, i really felt the heartpain and confusion inside me. but whatever happens, we are gg to work damn hard.

and of course, i got nice pictures with Jetro definitely. using the new DSLR as well as my digi cam, shall upload them when im in sch tmr.

today was field trip to the zoo for drawing lesson. it was well all so awesome and tiring. i have feet that is breaking soon. but i get to learn how to use my camera there, and i got really ugly drawings. and i have yet to complete them.. maybe tmr yeah.

and home is the suckiest place i will wanna be at afterall. i dragged all my time to come home slowly. and i reached at abt 7pm today. i just hate to stay home recently, its just about being in the room. and i really dunoe, why is all this falling upon me all at once? im really gg to have a really bad emotional break down. i kept feeling my heart beating so hard. it is really very painful, and i couldn't stop crying. i couldn't enjoy what im doing and i dunoe what im doing at all.

i really hope i know the purpose of what im doing now. and really quickly regain my clear set of mind to think and do my work well. i really wanna do well in my studies and have a good future, because i noe family and home is no longer the place where i get my support now and the place where i can depend on.