Kai Ling

(credits to elina)

ahhhh.. its like finally, this semester has ended for me, just left UT3. but for now, no more assignments! YAY! finally, i can have a good rest tonight. since CNY, i have been staying up late to do my assignment. like seriously... URGHHH!!!

tmr not gg to sch, web app lesson just waste time for me, i go there, sit with elina and chat the whole lesson. take people's code, copy and paste and submit. that's how i survived this module. but who cares lah, i just want to do well in my UT3 and hope i don't have to retake this module!!!

finally i got some time to blog, with a little of pictures. by looking at the pictures, i think more or less you people know what i want to blog about alrdy...

its counted as friday now. tmr, im giving Nack away alrdy.. to a new owner, which i totally have no connection with, which means, i can never visit him at all. totally no contact with my dog. he belongs to them(Valerie's friend) from that moment he steps into the house onwards.

but it is just so much better than leaving him in the hotel. i really cannot stop tearing to the thought of him staying in the hotel. because i keep imagining that he is sleeping in this cold cage alone, waiting for someone to come get him, get him out of this place totally stranger to him.

he is so afraid of cold, afraid of being alone and such a timid dog.

i can never forget the time when we 1st bring him home. from sengkang, he is shivering all the way to jurong. so afraid to move, i have to carry him. even until when we reach home, he cnt stop shivering, never pee, never eat, never drink, nvr bark. for a moment i thought he was mute. but then not.

as time passes, i look at him grow up. when i bought him, he is 4months old. and within one year, how much he have grown. so much bigger and heavier. he is a very vain dog, not wanting to eat so that he wont be fat. until now, i guess he is underage.

not only he become much bigger, he became much closer to us. the fun and joy he bring when we return home, the accompany he given me when i down, and the silly stunts he did when i bring him for walks. the dog that enjoys being in the rain with me.

i only had him for 3 years, but he have been many roles to me. he is so close, just like my son, my lover, my dad, my toy, everything that i will need, he did for me, every person i need close to me, he played the role for me.

all this all this, sweet memories is supposed to be kept inside my heart. for me to remember because no other had such an amazing dog i had like Nack. i really hope that he can just forget me and live happily with the new owner.

i hope the owner is friendly too, i trust Valerie. all i want is someone to pay attention to my dog and love him.

i always say its ok to give the dog away, but i have no idea why the fuck am i crying like a mad bitch now. fuck. :'((

to Nack:

Nack, i really miss you very very much. i miss your presence around the house. miss you hopping around, rubbing your back on me, digging on my bed, lying on my lap, asking me to carry you, sleeping on my bed with your four limbs hanging, lying down on the floor with your hands crossed, performing the tricks you have learnt, standing up and resting on my legs, barking like you are acting cute, moving back with your tail shaking when i reached home, being so clumsy sometimes you hurt me... and of course many many more...

i'm really very sorry, i have to give you away. its the last resort. i wanted so much to keep you by my side, but circumstances wont allow me to.

im so worried about you. how is your stay at the hotel? im really worried that you are feeling cold and there's no one to stroke your back, tickle your stomach and play with you. you must be feeling very lonely right? so am i. i really wish to have you by my side right now.i cannot stop imagining that you will look up at me with your small eyes and long eyebrows.

nack, im really really very sorry to you, for not being able to commit in taking care of you.

but thank you very much, for the accompany, fun and joy, anger and sweats you given me.. you are really a very wonderful and faithful dog. you are such a dear to me. thank you for being there for me everytime im down. there's nothing i could ask of you anymore.

be nice when you are at this new home ok, there will be another dog to play with you. be a good boy, and you receive lots of love again.

while enjoying yourself, i hope you can forget me. do not remember me because im a bad owner, at the end, i still can't protect you and keep you by my side.

i have been dreaming of you very much recently, but in the dreams, you are just ignoring me. its like we are so near, yet so far. but if this is the reality, i will not blame you. you have all the right to ignore me and be angry with me, even hate me.

i will always remember you Nack, remember to be a good boy ok. i know you will. adapt quick and well, restart your life. everything is gg to be all well for you.

i just want to tell you, if time turns back, i will still want to have you as my dog, and even at my next life, i still want you as my dog.

i really miss you very much Nack. this saturday is gg to be the last time i see you, carry you. all that i can do for you, i will this saturday. thank you for being my dog.

dear Nack, I LOVE YOU. i love you very much, but for now, i have to hide it, deep deep down in my heart...