Kai Ling

this post will be all about myself. its been really long i did a self-reflection.

nobody was really bothering me much recently and all i have to say i am much happier than before. the reason is because i have decided to wash my hands off many things and don't be too bothered. anything that is making me unhappy, i will just forgive, but no way am i gg to forget it.

i will always rmb how they treat me so i will nvr go back into the old self and treat them the old same way and get myself hurt again.

while behaving like this, sometimes i ask myself, who am i actually. am i the KaiLing that my friends, family and lover know? have i changed very drastically? i almost couldn't recognise myself. have i become more mean and unfriendly and become more nasty? i really hope not. but when i did, you people very well tell me ok, i want to balance myself, my attitude and everything. i dont wish to turn into someone that everyone hates. because by so, end up i only have nothing. that's not something that i want. never.

after trying to commit suicide that day, i have always been loving myself more. i swear i am nvr gg to do such a thing again. and ugly bruises have faded totally. it means that i should stop looking back. i should work hard towards my graduation and step by step move towards my dreams.

this incident really made me learn alot. i have always told myself, how lucky am i that i did to fall outside. i also learned to look at things in a different perspective. now, i only care for the people that cared for me. other than that, just leave me alone, i can't be bothered with you too.

anyway, i have been getting lots of loots online recently. and this is the most recent one, i just received it, the egg mouse. i like it very much at the 1st sight of it. now i have received it, i like it even more, although the clicking is really loud. i bought white colour. im very worried my sweaty palms will dirty it very quickly.

alright, im gg to sleep alrdy. tmr is web app UT. wish me luck, i dont wish to retake this module too :X

goodnight people! goodnight kailing!