Kai Ling

I FUCKING HATE MYSELF FOR HATING MY FAMILY.

I FUCKING HATE MYSELF FOR CRYING.

I FUCKING HATE MYSELF FOR BEING IN THE ROOM AND NOT TALKING TO THEM.

I FUCKING HATE MYSELF THAT I COULD NOT CONTROL MY TEMPER.

I FUCKING HATE MYSELF FOR NOT PUTTING MY FAMILY AS NUMBER ONE ANYMORE.

I FUCKING HATE BEING THE CHANGED GIRL.

BUT I HAVE GOT NO CHOICE, BECAUSE NOBODY CARES ABOUT WHAT I AM THINKING.

DON'T FUCKING ASK ME FOR MY THOUGHTS IF U HAVE ALREADY DECIDED.

BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT HURTS ME THE MOST.

SERIOUSLY, I WANT TO SHOUT AND SCREAM AND DIE.

IF U WANT TO DESTROY ME, PLEASE MAKE IT QUICK.

I'M FUCKING NOT WILLING TO SUFFER IN SILENCE,

AND WHEN YOU ARE TAKING THINGS SLOWLY, IT JUST ANGERS ME MORE.

IT JUST MAKE ME HATE YOU EVEN MORE.

THE SADDEST THING IN LIFE IS HATING MY ONCE PILLAR OF SUPPORT AND LOVE. THOSE THAT I HAVE CARED FOR MOST IN MY LIFE, THE ONES THAT I HAVE WORRIED FOR. I REALLY MISSED THE TIMES WHEN I MISSED YOU, RANDOMLY CALLED YOU TO CHECK IF U MISS ME TOO.

I MISS EVERYBODY SAYING I'M A MUMMY'S GIRL.

BUT NOW WHEN I SEE YOU, IT JUST TURNS ME OFF.

AND IT SEEMED LIKE NOBODY HAVE MENTIONED I'M A MUMMY'S GIRL ANYMORE. COS I AM NOT ONE NOW.

I HAVE LOST TRUST IN MY FAMILY NOW.

I WONDER WHO CAN I TURN TO.

I LOST MY PILLAR OF SUPPORT.

I LOST FAMILY LOVE.

I LOST MY MUM.

AND I LOST MYSELF.